Moving through dashed expectations
All of us have expectations about our future lives, whether with our family, marriage, or ministry. This is natural and unavoidable. It’s what happens when you experience disappointments. Your expectations are crushed. This too is unavoidable.
When I turned 60 my youngest daughter asked me what I thought about my future. A life lesson to pass on. I told her:
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In my 20s I learned to manage my dreams
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In my 30s I learned to manage my time
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In my 40s I learned to manage my priorities
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In my 50s I learned to manage my energy
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In my 60s I think I am going to need to learn to manage my expectations
Not much time left to see my dreams and priorities fulfilled. Expectations dashed. If we don’t get a handle on managing expectations – disillusionment and bitterness can follow. Getting old isn’t for cowards. So many unhappy seniors sit in our pews quietly living lives of sorrow because of dashed expectations. If you find yourself struggling and the “joy of your salvation” is weak, maybe it’s time to talk to someone.
An expectation has been dashed or derailed. My marriage needs a check-up. I’m stuck in a ministry that is unfulfilling or toxic. I don’t have a single real friend. Don’t wait—talk to someone.
Consider calling the Clergy Care Network hotline at 1-888-5-CLERGY (1-888-525-3749).
Fellowship National has partnered with Focus on the Family to provide counseling resources to our clergy, missionaries, chaplains, and spouses. Phone the number and you’re connecting to a professionally credentialed Christian counselor who can pray with you, provide an initial counselling session, offer resources, and make referrals to counsellors in your area.
Your call is completely confidential. No one reports your call to me or anyone else. Make the call.
If you want to read more about dashed expectations, I encourage you to read Luke Campbell’s excellent article found on Focus on the Family’s “Clergy Care” website, How changing expectations of ministry can help us avoid unnecessary pain. I hope it is a help to you.
The month of October is designated each year as “Clergy Care Month”. What is your local church doing in October to make certain your pastor(s) feel valued, loved, and cared for?